This song is helping with my depression.
This song is helping with my depression.
We don’t want no devil’s in the house tonight.
If I were to die today, tomorrow’s headline would read “27 Year-Old man died while shielding little girl from gunfire while simultaneous fighting off pack wolves during devastating earthquake.”
That’s right, I’m going out in a blaze of glory.
My problem though is the 27 year-old man part of the headline. 27 year old man. Like shit, that makes me sound old. Like really old. Like, oh well, he did live 27 years of life. He’ll be okay.
So I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately…
What makes an adult?
27 years old but I’m immature AF.
When I see an elderly couple hold hands, my first reaction is like “Gaaaayyyy”. True Story.
I’m a giant kid at heart. That’s the one thing that hasn’t change about me. Because I’m loyal to my ideas; my beliefs. The world has yet to change me to my core.
Sure, I do adult things: work full time, go the gym, go on dates, hit up bars, etc… But I’m so much more than your average.
I read comic books (I prefer you call them graphic novels though), I collect watches, I play video games, I keep up with the latest tech news, I like movies, I’m an audiophile and so on.
So what make’s me an adult?
I have theory:
We become an adult when we start dealing with stress. I’ve been very fortunate enough to deal with very little stress growing up.
Never did I have to worry about where I was going to sleep at night, or if I had food for dinner, or if my life was really in danger.
I know life is though, and for some of my peers, they had to deal with real shit early in their lives. Pending pregnancies, family fights, tragic accidents, money issues.
Imagine dealing with that shit in your teen years. There is no choice but to accept life for what it is. That’s the key.
Now, I’ve had my low’s in life. Don’t get it twisted.
Ladies and gentlemen, Big Ern has been broke for a very long time. The financials have played a huge part of me growing up and dealing with it.
Thoughts of suicide have popped off before. Just thoughts though. I think it’s pretty normal. Who hasn’t thought about what would happen if you died right now? How many lives would your death effect?
That shit is scary to me though. I know I’m loved. And I know my passing would effect those who truly care about me, and I just can’t do that to them.
But what are we living for?
Is it that wrong of me to not want to have kids? Why should I conform to the social norms and get married? What if I don’t want to get married?
These are the questions that have been buggy me lately.
Truthfully, I’m happy. I am in a good position.
Yes, it could be better, but I am way better than I was a year ago. I’m very bless. I know this.
Kanye West once tweeted, “There are always going to be struggles no matter what level you are in life” Or something like that. I don’t know, go look up the tweet.
And it’s true.
There is always something that is going to be a struggle for you. But at the end of day, what those struggles do to me, still don’t faded me to my core.
Yes, I can be arrogant, moody, misogynistic, and a bit of an asshole. But I keep myself in check and acknowledged my own faults.
At least I don’t walk around like some of you jackasses and just annoy people by rhetoric. I’m looking at you, Trump.
That’s my life. I’m a self identify man-child with issues and I’m okay with that.
I don’t want to explain my self anymore than that. So just…
Tell my baby I’m back in town! *Young Thug’s Voice*
[Perfect!] *Street fighter voice*
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.
And my apologizes.
As you may or may not be aware, I have been doing this
blogging thing running a website scheme for a while now. Since 2010.
And frankly, I am growing tired of it.
And I am getting old. 27 years of life man.
For those who know me personally or for those who don’t, know I have settle down (with life, that is).
I went got myself a real job. -____-
Working some long hours (and actually making money). Consequently, my site has been lack-lustered overthe past few weeks, and my podcast game has been hella weak lately (although, I am getting mad recognition for it).
Side note: My younger brother likes to lecture my about life. MY YOUNGER BROTHER. This dude. He tells me what I should do, how I should dress, and how to pick up chicks. I smiled and say, “Oh, really? Cool, good to know. You do you“. His response: I know I am right, and you should take what I say seriously. My response: Do you know why I don’t take you seriously? His response: -____-. My response: Because I was born in the 80’s.
I really am cut from a different cloth.
What’s important to me is not what is important to other people. I get that.
I’ve often played with the idea of getting rid of all my social media accounts for this exact same reason. Why even bother? See me when you see me. I’m that old school.
(Maybe that’s why I have a lot of older friends. Because they get how I can relate to them. They understand that I understand what really matters in this life. And because they know I can smell and fish out all the bullshit that there is out in the universe.)
I don’t know what I’m am saying, I’m rambling.
But getting back to my point.
I’m not OFFICIALLY calling it quits. I’m not.
But I’m preparing to rise to the white flag soon. Just an FYI.
I dropped 70 pounds in 6 months. Y’all can’t tell me nothing.
A Short Memoir by ezbizzle.
I’ve always been a big guy. Since I was little. My mom would over feed me flour tortillas with butter, and I loved eating that type of stuff. Thus creating a unhealthy habit for myself.
I went to school. And I grew and grew. Length-wise and sideways. I graduated High School and kinda leveled off. I went to college and graduated from there too. Gaining a lil bit of weight in the process. Then, I sadly, came back home and hit my heaviest.
I was over 300 pounds by January 2015.
Note: I never felt like I was fat tho.
It was February 19th, 2015. I woke up around 10 AM. It was around noon when I decided to eat left over pizza, half a burrito, then around 3PM I went to Starbucks – bought a latte and chocolate chip croissant, and lastly, ate KFC for dinner.
Yes, you read that right. I am starting my own podcast. It’s been in the works for months!
And at times, I felt like completely abandoning the idea, but sometimes you have to say “screw it” and go for it.
To give you a little insight into what it all means, this podcast is a lifestyle podcast. Meaning, I can/will talk about anything.
I don’t want to be label just as a movie review podcast, or a sports podcast, or a news commentary podcast because I plan to talk about it all.
Similar to my blog, the topics will be diverse and range from insightful thoughts to discussing the dumbest shit that happens in America and around the world.
I hope you’ll listen as each episode of the podcast will be centered on one particular topic and, yes, it will be a weekly show.
First few episode are dropping this Sunday, Feb 9th! Look out for that.
And, lastly, thank you for your support. I mean it.
Yup. The big two six.
Just a few more years before I start lying about my age….