Category Archives: My problem with

The Life of Ern…

We don’t want no devil’s in the house tonight. 

The Life of Ern

If I were to die today, tomorrow’s headline would read “27 Year-Old man died while shielding little girl from gunfire while simultaneous fighting off pack wolves during devastating earthquake.”

That’s right, I’m going out in a blaze of glory.

My problem though is the 27 year-old man part of the headline. 27 year old man. Like shit, that makes me sound old. Like really old. Like, oh well, he did live 27 years of life. He’ll be okay.

So I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately…

What makes an adult?

27 years old but I’m immature AF.

When I see an elderly couple hold hands, my first reaction is like “Gaaaayyyy”. True Story.

I’m a giant kid at heart. That’s the one thing that hasn’t change about me. Because I’m loyal to my ideas; my beliefs. The world has yet to change me to my core.

Sure, I do adult things: work full time, go the gym, go on dates, hit up bars, etc… But I’m so much more than your average.

I read comic books (I prefer you call them graphic novels though), I collect watches, I play video games, I keep up with the latest tech news, I like movies, I’m an audiophile and so on.

So what make’s me an adult?

I have theory:

We become an adult when we start dealing with stress. I’ve been very fortunate enough to deal with very little stress growing up.

Never did I have to worry about where I was going to sleep at night, or if I had food for dinner, or if my life was really in danger.

I know life is though, and for some of my peers, they had to deal with real shit early in their lives. Pending pregnancies, family fights, tragic accidents, money issues.

Imagine dealing with that shit in your teen years. There is no choice but to accept life for what it is. That’s the key.

Now, I’ve had my low’s in life. Don’t get it twisted.

Ladies and gentlemen, Big Ern has been broke for a very long time. The financials have played a huge part of me growing up and dealing with it.

Thoughts of suicide have popped off before. Just thoughts though. I think it’s pretty normal. Who hasn’t thought about what would happen if you died right now? How many lives would your death effect?

That shit is scary to me though. I know I’m loved. And I know my passing would effect those who truly care about me, and I just can’t do that to them.

But what are we living for?

Is it that wrong of me to not want to have kids? Why should I conform to the social norms and get married? What if I don’t want to get married?

These are the questions that have been buggy me lately.

Truthfully, I’m happy. I am in a good position.

Yes, it could be better, but I am way better than I was a year ago. I’m very bless. I know this.

Kanye West once tweeted, “There are always going to be struggles no matter what level you are in life” Or something like that. I don’t know, go look up the tweet.

And it’s true.

There is always something that is going to be a struggle for you. But at the end of day, what those struggles do to me, still don’t faded me to my core.

Yes, I can be arrogant, moody, misogynistic, and a bit of an asshole. But I keep myself in check and acknowledged my own faults.

At least I don’t walk around like some of you jackasses and just annoy people by rhetoric. I’m looking at you, Trump.

That’s my life. I’m a self identify man-child with issues and I’m okay with that.

I don’t want to explain my self anymore than that. So just…

Tell my baby I’m back in town! *Young Thug’s Voice*

Because…

[Perfect!] *Street fighter voice*

-ezbizzle outz

 

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Introducing The Durp Show Podcast by ezb14

The time has finally come. The Durp Show Podcast is here.

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Yes, you read that right. I am starting my own podcast. It’s been in the works for months!

And at times, I felt like completely abandoning the idea, but sometimes you have to say “screw it” and go for it.

To give you a little insight into what it all means, this podcast is a lifestyle podcast. Meaning, I can/will talk about anything.

I don’t want to be label just as a movie review podcast, or a sports podcast, or a news commentary podcast because I plan to talk about it all.

Similar to my blog, the topics will be diverse and range from insightful thoughts to discussing the dumbest shit that happens in America and around the world.

I hope you’ll listen as each episode of the podcast will be centered on one particular topic and, yes, it will be a weekly show.

First few episode are dropping this Sunday, Feb 9th! Look out for that.

And, lastly, thank you for your support. I mean it.

– ezbizzle

My Problem with Time….

Time is irrelevant to me.

I know I’m going to sound crazy on this post. I know/understand this.

But as a rule of thumb when dealing with me: Don’t expect me to be on time. Word to my future employers.

Wait for me, I’ll be there when I’m ready.

As cynical as that sounds, it’s how I feel.

However, I can’t stand waiting for some one. I have a very short patience.

One time, I walked out of Denny’s because they were taking too long to charge me for my meal!

I’m going to be a little late. No big deal.

We have a short time on this earth and I got things to do.

Compered to the billions of years the galaxy took to form itself just to get us at this exact moment of time, our time on this planet is limited.

So if I want to play an extra round of Call of Duty, I’m going to do it. Even if it means I’m running a little late.

Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I will be where I need to be. Just don’t expect me on time.

I’ll try to be there on time. Key word is try. How about that?

The concept of time to me is just crazy.

The passing of time the one constant in life. Think about that.

Every second, the world keeps on spinning and spinning. It all adds up.  And people are born, and people die. Environments change and people change, but not time. We can not change time (unless we invite time travel).

And during my time on this earth, I will do what makes me happy.

I will try my best to help those I love around me be better and enjoy the quality of life. I will be cracking jokes and making people laugh, because its the simple things in life that take the least amount of time.

But no matter what, you and I can not change constant time. It will add up and lead to our inevitable deaths. And that right there, is my real problem with time.

Boom! Subject ether’d.

– ezb14 outz.

My Problem with Texting….

I have a problem with texting.

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You see, it is a special treat if you get to text with me. I’m funny, witty and smart with my responses. And yes, I will try to troll you even if you don’t know me.

I’m clever, I’m sharp. I put thought into what I say. Everything is planned out. Even the type-o’s.

However, I have a general rule of thumb when it comes to texting, I don’t text you until I want something.

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I won’t text you out of the blue. I don’t care for good night or good morning texts. Or any of the ttyl (talk to you later) type-of-texts.

I don’t play those games.

Understand this, I only use emoji’s to be ironic and funny. Nothing more. I could care less about those faces.

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Anyways, what bugs me is how y’all text. I’m talking about guys and girls.

I roll my eyes at all of you.

Ladies, if a guys is an asshole to you, then why would you respond to their text messages?!

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I see tons of text messages splatterd on the internet about how a girl feeds into the troll (the guy she is texting).

What’s worse is that guys these days have no shame!

The thirst is real out here.

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They think because it’s texting, guys can get away from saying something they won’t say in real life.

It’s pussy shit. Guy harass women every day via text messages and I don’t need to see a news survey about texting habits to know that.

However, this goes both ways. Ladies, you guys haven’t been exactly cordial with all your text messages.

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Although, ladies,  keep sexting. That’s okay in my book. When ever I get one, I feel like I’m on top of the world. My heart smiles and it warms my soul.

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My problem comes from how stupid you girls are. You keep feeding these guys with passive aggressive texts, and they believe they can get away with.

Females need to understand that the way to stop an attention seeker is by completely ignoring them! That’s it.

Don’t responded back to those dudes who are asking to see your tits after they just met you.

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You guys try to laugh it off with a simple “LOL” or emoji face, but as soon as you respond, they gotcha.

I just don’t like it. Men, women are both horrible at texting.

I can’t count the times I roll my eyes when a female thinks her text convos are so funny and decides to post a screen shot on instagram, and then, I’m just like *rolls eyes* “this isn’t even funny.”

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Text messages are just supposed to be there for a quick read – a simple message to another person. Not a fucking book detailing why you’re breaking up with me.

I’m more of conversationalist. I like to talk. Face to face. In a small intimate group. And even then, I don’t like to talk to strangers.

I know, I’m weird and complicated. I know this about myself.

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But the subject of texting needs to one of those things I want to address and put out myself.

This is light work for me. This writing shit is easy. I do it for fun. So when it comes to writing, I feel some kind-of-way.

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And what’s the most important form of writing today? Texting.

Boom! Subject ether’d.

– ezbizzle outz

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Mama I Made It!! (Introducing ezb14.com)

Well, you knew this was gonna happen.

ezb14.com is now open for business!

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I want to thank all of y’all who are reading this right now, because without y’all, I probably wouldn’t have the small following I have on my blog right now.

Expect to see more exclusives, more posts, and more exciting projects I’m going to be putting out.

I’m super excited for what the future has for this website! (It’s gonna be BIG!)

Yes, this is now my website. My rules, my following, my voice. Follow me through my journey.

Mama, I made it.

– ezb14 outz.

Continue reading Mama I Made It!! (Introducing ezb14.com)

My Thoughts on #Ferguson….

So we all know about this current tense situation out in Ferguson, Missouri, right?

Well in case you’ve been living under a rock and have no idea what I’m talking about, then you can head over to your local newspaper stand (kidding) or turn on the TV to watch the continuous coverage or just click here to read all about it.

Okay, hopefully by now you know what’s up. If not, I’ll wait. #NotReally.

Alright moving on.

Now, I don’t want to talk about the the details of the shooting, or if the police are justified for their actions. Trust me, I’m no big fan of the police either.

What I want to bring up on my blog right now is this question: WHY?

WHY IS THIS A BIG DEAL IN 2014?

That’s what I’m curious  about:  Why now??

Due to everyone having a fricken’ HD camera in their pockets via their smart-phone,  police brutality has been publicly noted, recorded and shared on the internet for the past couple of years.

So it really shouldn’t come to a shock  to anyone that another unarmed black male got shot dead.

Sure, its fucked up, but Michael Brown wasn’t the first nor will he be the last. It’s sad but true.

Don’t get me wrong, what happened to this dude is fucked up. But why is this case such a BIG DEAL?

Well, in my opinion,  it’s because we’re living in a digital age. A transparency age. I have explained this notion out before.

Furthermore, everything is tweeted about. Everything is recorded. Everything has and will be shared online. We live through social media.

The real answer to my question though, is that we’re living and going through some hard times right now.

War between Palestine and Israel, journalist being beheaded, commercial airplanes being shoot down, Robin Williams killing himself, Beyonce divorcing Jay-Z; shit is tough out there man.

People are all riddled up. People don’t trust their government. Hell, I don’t even trust them. Illuminati!

I feel like people want a revolution. They want their voice heard because the internet already gives them a voice.

Everything is sensationalize and put on display these days. So why am I blogging about it??

Well, if I can boldly quote Hud from Cloverfield (2008):

People are going to want to know, how it all went down.

And that’s all I’m doing here.

-ezbizzle outz.

P.S. – Don’t ice water bucket challenge me.

 

 

 

 

 

My problem with Internet Dating….

I about to tear this shit down.

It’s 2014 people. We are in the age of social media.

There are tons of sites for finding the “love of your life” out there.

There’s a dating site for Christian people, there’s a dating site for Jewish people. There’s a dating website for older people. There’s a dating site for people who live in the country and want to meet someone who also lives in the country.  There’s dating websites just to fuck!

And I wish I was joking but those types of sites really exist.

There’s this show called Catfish on MTV, maybe you’ve heard of it. Its about people falling in love through the internet.

And the hosts of the show go and meet this one person who is in love; then they all go out to meet this other person behind the computer in real life and try to connect with them.

However, what ends up happening most of the time is that the people they thought they fell in love with are not the same people in real life. Sometimes there’s not even an actual person! Its all made up.

Here’s my problem with “Internet Dating”: It’s so fucking easy to do it!

Ladies and gents, you got to stop believing everything you see or read online.

It’s not that hard to take a good picture of yourself.

Its not hard to hype yourself up online. (To make yourself look attractive)

Its not hard to be funny on social media.

It’s sooo easy to lie and portray  yourself to the world in a particular way.

My point is that I can’t stand it. It hurts me a little when I see how thirsty these guys can be online. Equally as disappointing, is how girls fall for it.

Save your time and effort people. Don’t take to internet dating. It’s fake.

And you if you disagree with me, well that’s cool, I just think your stupid.

That’s why we have all this social media. To state our opinions. I have valid points here.

I get it. It’s easy to online date. It’s a way to hook-up.  But I just can’t get down with it. I really really really really don’t like this idea of internet dating and what’s become.

Have some respect for yourself people and just be smarter.

Don’t fall for pictures and false advertising.

Now with all that being said and out on the open, if you excuse me, it’s time for me to hit up a few girl’s twitter DMs right now.

Hey, it’s all a game.

– I’m outz