My Problem With Life….

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

Some people are really happy with their lives. I talk to these people, I listen to them, or I see them on social media. They appear to be “happy”.

I have no problem with that. Truth be told, I kinda envy that.

However, I also feel like people are settling for a version of “happiness”.

Some people are happy with their jobs. Some people are happy being in a relationship. Some people want to get married. Some people are happy to have children and to start a family.

These people I’m referring to are generally around my age (25-ish). Consequently, most of the people I’m referring to are my friends, co-workers, and family members.

My problem is, that although I eventually want what they already have (wife, kids, house, etc.), I still want more in the future.

Who says I can’t have it all??

I still have hopes and dreams and aspirations.

People meet me, and they often tell me I’m a chilled or very laid-back type of guy.

They couldn’t be more wrong.

People who REALLY know me will tell you I’m far from grounded. I live in a fantasy of my own imagination and creativity. I love movies, books, video games, music, and technology. Who says I can’t blend all those together??

Why do you think I still keep this blog up??

I’m not tired of blogging. This keeps me very entertained. However, its the outside world that’s a BIG buzz kill.

It’s the outside world that keeps telling me I need money, I need to settle this debt or that debt, and relationships, and family struggles; its a combination of all those things and more that puts a damper on me on a daily basis.

Although there are days where I feel like I can conquer the world by myself, and there are also days where I just want to go into deep hibernation and never wake up.

I know, my life is messed up. And clearly I have issues. But this helps me. I want to write about this.

Why?? Because IT’S MY DAMN BLOG. – That’s why.

If I may boldly quote Childish Gambino:

Being happy is the goal, but greatness is my vision / And all these chicks be thinkin’ they compete with my ambition / Baby I am different / This shit is my life / And if you don’t believe me, you can never be my wife

That’s exactly how I feel.

I still have ambition. Lots of it. And I won’t stop believing in myself if I know I have potential.

I can only hope that one day, despite all of life’s downfalls, I reach my full potential and can just be happy. Period.

– ezb14 outz

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