Song of the Day: Pink Matter (Remix) by Frank Ocean f. OutKast

I’m not a big fan of this dude, but this is some good stuff.

Download Frank Ocean –Β  Pink Matter (Remix) f. Outkast

Okay here’s the thing….

If you follow me on twitter, you know I’ve very laid back lately (as compared to my college days). And now that my college days are over, work and the work place is and has been beating me down for awhile. I’m not the same person anymore.

It also doesn’t help that I’m suffering from a broken heart. Maybe I’m exaggerating, I don’t know. But I was hurt when this latest girl broke up with me. And after the year we’ve been through, she claims we weren’t even going out. That stung a little. She played it off like it wasn’t anything.

Well, I know what happened. I know the facts. In my mind, I wrote this blog post and called out all the girls/relationships I ever had in my life so far. Oh, it was good. Called out these chick by name and explain my side of it. I thought about it, but never wrote any of it down.

I’m changing as a person. I don’t feel like explaining myself to anybody anymore. I’ve kept secrets from my best friends, I’ve been telling my parents half-truths, and if you ever met me, you know that I’m pretty honest guy. I’m honest with everyone. A simple search on this blog will find some pretty revealing posts during my university days.

A year ago, I admit it, I was being immature. I played with her feelings. I didn’t know what I wanted. It was a weird day, that’s for sure. She got mad at me and I probably deserve it. Now, thinking back at it, I did drop the ball. I’m sorry.

I didn’t feel like I need to write this, like I have in the past, I felt like I wanted to write it.

I’ve been ashamed of my past actions these last few months. I’ve abused my body with alcohol, been in places I shouldn’t, experiment with drugs and I’ve said things I didn’t mean. It’s hard to keep everything balance in my life. That’s why I’ve been so secluded & private recently.

Maybe this will be the last post you’ll ever see that will give you a glimpse of my personal life. And maybe, that will be a good thing.

It’s a hard pill to sallow – to accept your situation and move on with your life. But I really do believe its necessary. These experiences are changing and I can only hope it’s for the better.

I’m outz.

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